lishesquex: (Gro hammerseng - victory fist)
If you've ever seriously wondered about whether elves really existed, and whether Vikings had sex with them, then you're in luck:

"I think it would make the world a better place if more people had sex with elves" (Probably NSWF)

I especially love the symbolism with the geysers.
lishesquex: (cara 3)
This post encapsulates how I feel about essay and SAC marking so well:

And then I was eaten by a grue

Very amusing reading. Thanks to Lyan for the rec.
lishesquex: (iconomicon - mirrors lie to cats)
A must see for all cat-loving geeks:



Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] selina_ for the rec. :)

Lmao

Apr. 19th, 2010 10:20 pm
lishesquex: (iconomicon - pwnstar)


I'm going to watch this a few more times before bed...

Bad sex

Sep. 9th, 2009 11:36 pm
lishesquex: (hed)
So, my friend Ingrid is currently working on the sex scene for her novel, and our conversations these last few days have revolved around buttsecks and lube bad sex scenes in fiction. What makes a bad sex scene bad? How does one write a good sex scene? Are the terms "love tunnel" and "lady business" ever called for?

To help answer these difficult questions, I created this graph:



The graph probably doesn't make much sense unless you've read these:
Lobster by Guillaume Lecasble
LIKE ZORRO
Eternity of Blood (AKA Night Travels of the Elven Vampire)

And just for fun:
The longlisted passages for the Bad Sex in Fiction award

[Edit:
And then there was this...
[11:42:42 PM] Ingrid says: So Paula introduced me to another term: Moss. Like the mossy mound. And also: Dew. So how's this for the TBSOL scene:
[11:43:05 PM] Ingrid says: ...her mossy mountain glistened with dew ... but less artificially sweet, less carbonated, less toxic green.]
lishesquex: (xena - xena on argo)
These videos almost single-handedly made my day. They are so full of win. SO FULL OF IT.

Power Rangers opening theme, Xena-style:



GO GO POWER RANGERS.

There's also the Captain Planet/Xena opening theme: here.

But the BEST ONE OF ALL, which totally did my head in when I watched it because it was like "omgwtf universes COLLIDING" was: Xena opening credits - BUFFY STYLE!
lishesquex: (iconomicon - pwnstar)
Today I discovered (well, Ingrid discovered, and then linked me to) yousuckatcraigslist.com.  It's basically a blog that makes hilarious commentary on the worst/best/mostwtf craigslist ads. My second favorite is this one, in which a woman is seeking "a sweat guy" who "is knowing how to handle a gerbil" because she has 7 of them, and oh btw, she prefers "at least 6 inchers".  *snicker*  Right.

This one wins, though:

Attractive Couple Looking for Acrobactial Midget - mw4w - 25


Smart, young sucessful couple is looking for a attractive, short female who is under 4 feet tall.
We enjoy being active and like to do things out doors. Boating, BBQing, camping, and anything fun.
Must be athletic or at least willing to do atheletic things like gymnastics and poses.
This will not be a sexual relationship, unless it leads to that in future.
No major health problems, 420 friendly is a plus. Must like dogs and mexican hats

Please respond with pictures to get pictures!
Hope to hear from your shortness soon!

Click here for the commentary.

I lol'ed so hard.
lishesquex: (voyager - canadian borg)
This poll from the official star trek site just amused the hell out of me, so I'll recreate it on my LJ.


[Poll #1365850]
lishesquex: (iconomicon - rejected)
"Oh, if you become VP.... Oh, it's Canada for meeee"


"Mrs Palin... I want to fly into your airspace!"
lishesquex: (buffy - faith bad)
Zomg rofl, I just read the funniest imdb user synopsis regarding a Milla Jovovich role:

"The smart Kat uses her power of beautiful and sexy woman to manipulate her friends and get rid off Al."

The power of beautiful and sexy woman. She haz it.
lishesquex: (iconomicon pwnstar)
So I'm procrastinating my day away on Goodreads and I come across this guy's review of the Bible:

I felt this book had a very scattered perspective. Almost as if there were several different authors. The editing could have been better in order to eliminate the dry spots. (Begat, begat, begat, etc.... Boooooring.) Solomon's Song.... ??? What the heck was that all about. Also there were several highly unlikely characters. People living 900 Years?? 9 foot tall giants?? I'm dead, wait I'm not?? It's MY baby, no it's MY baby. Moms... wouldn't you know your baby? It is a little disconcerting you must admit. 50/50 then...??? Hmmm... it will be interesting to get a definitive interpretation to the cryptic almost phsycotic babblings at the end. And was it 7 seals.... or 7 sea lions? Anyway... still trying to figure it all out....

LOLERSKATES.

*so very amused*

If anybody on my flist is on Goodreads, feel free to add me. :)
_______________

P.S. carnuneeLUCIA!  This is not optional for you. You must join Goodreads. :P

Lol

Feb. 9th, 2008 02:08 pm
lishesquex: (hed)
Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] wickedkiwi

I cuddled with a bisexual because I hate my life.

Meme details )
lishesquex: (iconomicon not a geek)
William Shakespeare

Misery acquaints a Lish with strange bedfellows.

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Get your own quotes:


lishesquex: (buffy - happy faith)
OMFG!! This is the funniest thing I have EVER SEEN:



ROFL

Thanks for linking me, Lucia. ;)
lishesquex: (xena - chakram red)
So. During my adventures in the nightmarish land that goes by the name of A Concise (ha!) Dictionary of Old Icelandic, I've come across a few more amusing Old Norse words which I thought I might find useful one day. I will record them here for your amusement.


arg-hola, noun (f). harlot
I rather like this one. If you hear it being said to you, it could mean someone stubbed his/her toe while saying hello to you in Spanish.... or a Viking just called you a whore.

ars, noun (m). posterior
I'm glad to see that this sacred word has remained unchanged through the centuries.

koss-mildr, adjective. fond of kissing
Oh, I can just see the Viking personals: Strong hairy Viking male with big longship seeks beautiful, buxom Viking female who is koss-mildr. I enjoy ale, sharpening my sword, and long walks on the beach (on the way to raiding England).

vápn-bitinn, past participle. dead by the sword
"weapon bitten" - I love how descriptive they are in putting their words together.

æ, interjection. ah! o! oh! (denoting pain)
The Viking equivalent of "ow". Useful to know if you are in the process of being vápn-bitinn.

hlaut-viðr, noun (m). rod immersed in sacrificial blood
How delightful.

hugat, adverb. frankly, sincerely
You could totally write Vikings letters with this sort of knowledge! Just imagine the communication problems we could overcome! o.o Dear Viking, please don't raid my home and steal my womenfolk. Yours hugat, Lish.

bað-kona, noun (f). female bathing attendant
See how badass the Vikings were? They had female bathing attendants when the Anglo-Saxons didn't even have baths.

The Vikings were indeed highly advanced in technology regarding their personal hygiene. You know those little windows often found in bathrooms that are wonderfully convenient for airing out... the air in the bathroom? Well! THE VIKINGS HAD THOSE TOO:
baðstofu-gluggr, noun (m). window opening in the roof of a bathroom.
(I love how it sounds like "Bath stuff glugger")

It's actually pretty amazing how similar Old Norse is to Modern Icelandic. I feel like I could almost hold a conversation with Björk. :D
lishesquex: (Xena caesar salad)
During my procrastination I've been looking at a list of all the Popes of the Catholic Church. And I've discovered that their names fall into several key categories:

The Average Pope Name (Usually Preceding A Complicated Roman Numeral)
Clement
Gregory
Benedict
John
Urban

Harry Potter Pope Names
Severinus
Lucius
Siricius

Decidedly Pagan Sounding Pope Names
Dionysius
Conon
Zephyrinus
Damasus
Callistus

Pope Names That Are Trying To Tell Us Something Through Their Resemblance To Certain Adjectives:
Innocent
Pius
Vigilius
Honorius

Downright Funny Sounding Pope Names
Simplicius
Hilarius
Sisinnius
Boniface
Pontian
Donus

And that is all I have to say about Pope Names.

*headdesk*

Nov. 6th, 2006 01:25 am
lishesquex: (Default)
You know when procrastination REALLY has gotten out of hand, when, in desperation, you begin to watch The Numa Numa Dance repeatedly in an attempt to delay writing the next paragraph in your essay.

Oh, the pain.

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