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Light shifts and dulls
Aug. 21st, 2013 09:02 pmThe last few days I've been mulling over the general feeling that, as I get older, everything becomes more faded and bland. I don't feel half so strongly as I used to about people, ideals... everything. It's been a while since I felt that fangirl "squee" feeling, definitely. And as for people that I care about, I feel like that group is shrinking. I wish it weren't, but I just feel so disconnected from everyone. I don't even really confide in my LJ anymore.
This is an attempt to reconnect a little, even if it's just with LJ.
Today I had a student teacher teach one of my classes for the first time. It was interesting, and slightly uncomfortable to watch. She was good. Probably better than 80% of student teachers out there. But it was still kind of awkward, because she hasn't yet learned how to project her own authority and kept looking to me to affirm what she was saying and doing. The kids can smell that from a mile away. She also went at a much slower pace than I usually do and I watched a couple of stronger students start to get bored and restless. My Year 7s are generally very well behaved, and they still were for this lesson, but the two strongest personalities were away today as well as about 6 other students, so it'll be more challenging when there's a full compliment. It was weird, too, because it made me realise how confident I've grown as a teacher, and made me recognise skills I have in classroom management that come so naturally now I take them for granted.
Whilst I was on yard duty today, I had a random girl come up to me and ask if I was the Year 12 English Language teacher. I said yes and she introduced herself and said I'd probably teach her next year, and that English Language was her favourite subject. The whole thing made me really sad that I'm leaving. I hope they get a good replacement.
I bought two tickets to a Melbourne Writers Festival event today, and ended up emailing McKinley. I offered her the other ticket, because I know it's the kind of thing she'd be interested in. Anyway, I wrote a short email and hit send before I could think too much about it. She replied quickly, to her credit, but could not make it due to prior plans. At least we are sort of back in email communication. I declined her invitation to see her friend's bands after my MWF thing, but asked if she wanted to catch up for coffee at some point in the future.
Some of you are probably going NO LISH, NOOOO. In fact, Rianna was in my room as I was composing the email and she was like NO too. But it makes no difference. Without emailing her, or being in any kind of contact with her, I was still stuck. I have been stuck here in this emotional space for six months. It can't get any worse than where I've already been.
This is an attempt to reconnect a little, even if it's just with LJ.
Today I had a student teacher teach one of my classes for the first time. It was interesting, and slightly uncomfortable to watch. She was good. Probably better than 80% of student teachers out there. But it was still kind of awkward, because she hasn't yet learned how to project her own authority and kept looking to me to affirm what she was saying and doing. The kids can smell that from a mile away. She also went at a much slower pace than I usually do and I watched a couple of stronger students start to get bored and restless. My Year 7s are generally very well behaved, and they still were for this lesson, but the two strongest personalities were away today as well as about 6 other students, so it'll be more challenging when there's a full compliment. It was weird, too, because it made me realise how confident I've grown as a teacher, and made me recognise skills I have in classroom management that come so naturally now I take them for granted.
Whilst I was on yard duty today, I had a random girl come up to me and ask if I was the Year 12 English Language teacher. I said yes and she introduced herself and said I'd probably teach her next year, and that English Language was her favourite subject. The whole thing made me really sad that I'm leaving. I hope they get a good replacement.
I bought two tickets to a Melbourne Writers Festival event today, and ended up emailing McKinley. I offered her the other ticket, because I know it's the kind of thing she'd be interested in. Anyway, I wrote a short email and hit send before I could think too much about it. She replied quickly, to her credit, but could not make it due to prior plans. At least we are sort of back in email communication. I declined her invitation to see her friend's bands after my MWF thing, but asked if she wanted to catch up for coffee at some point in the future.
Some of you are probably going NO LISH, NOOOO. In fact, Rianna was in my room as I was composing the email and she was like NO too. But it makes no difference. Without emailing her, or being in any kind of contact with her, I was still stuck. I have been stuck here in this emotional space for six months. It can't get any worse than where I've already been.
