I never specifically came out to Dad because we just didn't have the whole Talking About That Stuff kind of relationship. Never talked to him about boys, either, back in the day. He might have known, if Mum told him, but I don't know.
When he died, I had a brief period where I felt like I should have explicitly come out to him. It didn't last for long, though. How I feel now is just grateful that I never lost any of the time I had with him to the awkwardness or intolerance that might have resulted from doing it. He may not have known about that aspect of me, but that aspect of me didn't intrude at all upon the time I had with my father either, if that makes sense?
My point is that being open about who you are to the people you love is important. But you're more than just your sexuality, and your parents know so much about you as it is. Coming out can be a huge relief, but if you have reasons to stay closeted, those reasons are important and valid and completely okay. Your mother knows you as the daughter who loves her. Regardless of your decision, that's the most important thing.
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Date: 2010-02-06 12:49 pm (UTC)When he died, I had a brief period where I felt like I should have explicitly come out to him. It didn't last for long, though. How I feel now is just grateful that I never lost any of the time I had with him to the awkwardness or intolerance that might have resulted from doing it. He may not have known about that aspect of me, but that aspect of me didn't intrude at all upon the time I had with my father either, if that makes sense?
My point is that being open about who you are to the people you love is important. But you're more than just your sexuality, and your parents know so much about you as it is. Coming out can be a huge relief, but if you have reasons to stay closeted, those reasons are important and valid and completely okay. Your mother knows you as the daughter who loves her. Regardless of your decision, that's the most important thing.