The barest sliver, the faintest crack

I'm bored. I'm also PMSing. Not the best of combinations.

Today I almost broke my New Year's resolution whilst atop my exercise ball. Dangerous things, those exercise balls.

The days are creeping along. Too slowly and too quickly. It's February already and nothing much has changed. The holidays are almost gone though, and starting school in a week or so should mix things up a little over here. I've had a couple of rather stressful dreams in anticipation of it. The other day I dreamt that I was teaching a class and I couldn't read/pronounce the names of the roll. I ended up playing Simon Says with my students. Very, very stressful dream, that one.

This morning I dreamt that I was at a conference table type thing with a bunch of women, and Erin, Julia and Lyan were all there. Yes, all my exes. Erin was sitting to my left, Julia was sitting to the right of the woman who was to the right of me, and Lyan was across from me (if I believed in dreams having meaning, I'd wonder what that meant, heh). Actually, there were two Erins, and I couldn't tell which one was the real one, and I felt really bad/panicked because I felt that I should've been able to tell the real Erin from the fake Erin. And there was this robot incinerator thing we had to dismantle before it blew up. I was too slow destroying it and it exploded, and everyone died and I was left standing alone in the smoke. Rather dramatic, now that I think about it.

I'm constantly hungry these days, for some reason. Trying not to eat every single minute of the day though, because I really wanna get my ab dimples back. They're still there under all that fat. I know it!

For reasons completely unrelated to ab dimples... recently, I've been feeling a bit like a fraud. A failure. The things that I used to be proud of, that made me feel special, that I thought made up for all the other crap things in my life, I've kinda lost them. And I realise now that maybe they weren't that special after all, and I was just grasping at straws. What brought this on? Today, it was because I found a bunch of old classmates on Facebook. There's nothing quite like high school memories to make you feel like a nerdy loner again eh? But it's more than that. It's.. looking at people and seeing how they've changed, and how they're more than they were. And then looking at yourself, and realising that you're less than you were.

Wow, that was depressing.

In happier news, I'm really enjoying playing SingStar with Rianna. I love my sister. It's so nice to have someone to play with. Unfortunately she's started school again (Year 8!) and so she can't do my bidding keep me company 24/7 anymore. Today I helped her with her maths, science and art homework. It was fun. :)