Psapphirical

I was feeling all kinds of blue on the train today. Possibly because I just had my last lecture and tutorial for The Russian Revolution 131-050. The lecture was mostly about how the Russian Revolution was a humanitarian catastrophe. For the tutorial we all went down to the pub and spent most of the time just chatting about Russia and world politics over a couple of beers and hot chips (read fries for my american english speaking friends). The entire thing left me feeling immensely sad. Not because the subject has ended (gosh, am I glad that it's finally almost over), but because I realised that all people are good despite their mistakes, and misconceptions about some things, despite ingrained beliefs and prejudices from culture and religion, despite ignorance. I'm not just talking about my tute group... I mean people in general - all human beings, whether they be ruthless revolutionaries, or Nazis, or George Bush, or John Howard, or ultra conservative right wing homophobes (but I repeat myself), or militant Socialist Alternative members, or mass murderers. Okay, after that list I had to pause and think about what I was just saying. Heh. But... I think... individuals are often misguided or hateful or selfish or just plain ignorant. But humanity in general... I think in the grand scheme of things, people strive towards what they believe is right. And it makes me so sad when, on a large scale, people suffer so much in an event like the Russian Revolution. Some people, like the lecturer, would call it a tragedy. Was the Russian Revolution of 1917 a humanitarian catastrophe? I guess it was. But it was also just another event in the long litany of suffering that is human history. There is no "tragedy" - only life. We all just keep living, trying to do the best we can. And our best is sometimes horrible, and sometimes it's admirable, and sometimes it's both. That's just life. Humanity is a species capable of great beauty and achievement, and it's also capable of causing heartbreaking harm to one another and to this world. But despite all the suffering and setbacks and mistakes... people just keep living. I hope we do reach a higher consciousness one day. But that's the idealist in me talking. The more cynical half is insisting that we're all just animals following our instincts and that we'll never break free of this cycle of suffering that we inflict upon ourselves. But I hope we do.

I was thinking about my views on... well, Life, the Universe and Everything. I strongly believe that there is no "good" or "evil" or "truth". I believe we should look at all things with empathy and compassion. There is no truth, and there is no justice because everything is subjective. Therefore it follows that there is no such thing as a Hell... because there is nothing on this earth that deserves an eternity of suffering. I don't know if there's a Heaven either (or even if there's an afterlife). Everybody's ideal paradise is different - how can we all hope to exist in the same paradise and maintain our individual hopes and dreams and loves at the same time? For example, if my version of the ideal paradise/afterlife includes a particular person, but that person didn't want to be in mine, how would that work? There would have to be a separate heaven for every single person, but then it would be kind of fake because the real versions of other people wouldn't be there. It would all be an illusion. And even if hypothetical me was completely unaware of the illusion and was blissfully happy, it still wouldn't be perfect. What is complete blissful happiness anyway? I don't believe it can exist in the long term... on earth anyway. Everything is defined by its opposite. The notion of "good" cannot exist without there also being a notion of "bad". The definition of "normal" cannot exist without first defining what is "abnormal". In the same way, every emotion must have an opposing force, or else it loses its very essence. So without sadness, happiness would fade and become simple normality. Therefore, true joy can only exist in the moment. Is heaven - if it exists - only an eternal moment then?

*sigh* Whatever.

I took The Russian Revolution because I wanted to meet hot Russian girls learn enough to form an opinion on the Russian Revolution and Communism. Instead, I've emerged from it more ambivalent than ever. All I know is that thinking too much about it makes me sad and makes me post long, confused entries on my LJ every Tuesday. I don't think I'll be taking Age of Stalin next semester. :p

On another note...Eurovision makes me happy. Especially the highly, highly amusing lyrics: "Tell meeee...who's that lucky heeeeero... Sleeping... tightly on your peeeeeellow." Note to self: Hero does not rhyme with Pillow. Another amusing one was Sweden: "...forever with you... always by myyy siiiide, you're always on myyy miiiind... [cue wind blowing in hair, singer stares off into distance, big blue cape fluttering, arm raised in victory, deep breath]... IIIINVIIIIIINCIIIBBLLLEE! One looooove supreeeeme... etc.

Ah Eurovision, how I adore thee.

Anyway, I'm in a better mood now. Look how useful europop is! Look and ye shall understand.