Psapphirical

Ever since I updated my OKcupid profile, I've had a whole bunch of random people email me. One was a man who said something like "I know you're gay but you're cool so I just wanted to say hi". Another was a blonde Asian girl from California. She called me "babe" on our third msn chat, which made me go o.O and I've been hiding ever since. Then there were two from Melbourne. A good-looking redhead who plays WoW but her profile hinted that she has a boyfriend and was looking for threesomes and kinky sex. And an 18 year old musician/artist who looks a bit like Ellen Degeneres, but she's kind of young, and she reminds me of Erin, which isn't very healthy. The latest is a Slovenian florist who enjoys long walks, and "looooves" nature and animals. Which is fine. But her profile is the most cliched thing I've read since Twilight.

I'm going to be single forever. -.-

Yesterday I went to the Glen Waverley EB Games to buy a World of Warcraft gamecard because my subscription has run out. I was very shocked to learn that they were out of stock. Then I went to Game Traders and they were out of stock too. This has never happened before. Anyway, no WoW for me for the time being.

Today I drove my mum and the relatives to Jells Park and walked around with them for an hour. It was kinda funny because we were sitting by the lake watching the ducks and then they started having a conversation about salted duck meat. Chinese people. Srsly.

Last night at karate I was paired up with the girl that was my partner for the fighting sticks on Sunday. I can't quite remember her name. We were practising a movement that required me grabbing her arm/wrist and twisting it around. While doing this, I couldn't help but see healed scars on her wrist and arms. They were pretty deep and very obvious, and she probably saw that I saw. I didn't say anything, and did my best to ignore them. The image kept creeping randomly into my mind today. There was a time when seeing blood and a knife on TV was unbearable. I'm much better now but... it was just a little unsettling to see those scars yesterday.

So, there's this girl who I think is interested in me. She's really pretty and nice and wonderful and I might even have had a crush on her at one point but I just don't feel anything for her beyond simple attraction. And that isn't enough for me. A lot of people don't get it but when I go into a relationship, I'm serious about it... because I've really fallen for that person, and I love them, and I want to/intend to spend the rest of my life with them. So yeah. I'm hopelessly romantic and idealistic and one might say unrealistic in many ways, but I just can't /do/ a relationship that's only a casual fling or a temporary experiment or something. I've been lucky enough to actually experience the real thing (twice, even) and although they didn't work out in the end, it wasn't through lack of trying. I can't and won't settle for anything less.

...Hot, poke-able waitresses at Dracula's don't count. Obviously.

And now, since I can barely move my left hand due to an unfortunate incident in karate, I will go and flop on my bed.

*flop*